Never Doing SXSW Again…
Posted on March 21, 2009
Filed Under Advice, Uncategorized | 4 Comments
…By Bus or in a Group!!
I returned home from Austin at 9pm Tuesday night, after a 12 hour bus ride that required I take six Dramamine pills to keep from getting sick. The majority of the trip I was kicking myself for signing up to go to SXSW Interactive with a group.
SXSWi is a huge event well attended by geeks and social media types. It’s a fabulous opportunity to network and meet people. There are a plethora of panels to attend during the day and parties to attend at night. In order to satisfy the requirements of having to go to multiple places…you need to be able to make fast decisions and move from one location to the next quickly. Groups just aren’t conducive to that.
As much as I love being social, I’m also quite a loner and I need time alone to recharge. I can’t be around people 24/7. I’ll be flying next year and living large in my own room in a downtown hotel.
Highlights of the Trip – The best part of any conference is the people
Catching up with People: It was extremely nice to catch up with all the people from DC. I really missed those guys (and gals). The Cakoge after party was like a big DC tech community reunion. The DC tech community started coming together about three years ago and now it’s vibrant, strong and well represented at tech events across the country. I’m proud to see how far everyone has come within the community and how far the community has come together.
Meeting New People: I got acquainted with a few people from the New Orleans Net2NO group; people I really look forward to collaborating with in the future. I also got to connect in real life with some of my twitter friends.
Another person I met was Nan Palmero at the Mashable Party…thanks to Nan I will soon have video capabilities on my BlackBerry. I’m pretty stoked about that; he’s been a big help and it’s great having someone to turn to for assistance since I know I’ve been under utilizing my BB.
The Sessions: Sessions at conferences in my opinion are hit or miss. You never know if they’ll be any good. I made it to a handful of sessions, the best one was Building Your Web Startup After Hours: Aruni Gunasegaram – moderator (Babble Soft), David Altounian (itaggit.com), Jeremy Bencken (buzzstream.com), Gretchen Heber (naturallycurly.com), Elisa Camahort Page (blogher.com)
Since returning to having a full time job back in the Marine Corps, I’ve been beating myself up about the progress I’ve made and wondering if my startup will ever get off the ground. Listening to a panel of entrepreneurs who have built their startups after hours made me realize what I’m experiencing is normal, others have been there as well and made it happen. I walked away re-energized and with the willingness to accept that it’s okay if it takes awhile to make things happen.
Next Year
I plan on returning to SXSW next year, to include attending the Music portion. I’ve also been brainstorming some sessions that I might submit for next year. A conference like SXSW is something you have to experience, live and learn from.
Getting Back Into My Entrepreneurial Endeavors
Posted on January 17, 2009
Filed Under Entrepreneurship, Startup | 2 Comments
I’ve been somewhat “off” and offline recharging my batteries for the last 6-8 weeks…that, and moving to New Orleans. It’s been a good break that frankly after what I went through the past three years was much needed.
WhyGoSolo turned 1 on January 5th, 2009. It’s a hard pill to swallow to know the site has been live for a year and there’s been no real traction on it, yet. Tickets with a Twist was launched in August and nothing much has happened with it either, as of yet.
The move to New Orleans and getting another paying gig is to afford myself the opportunity to rewrite the business plan and shop it around for a seed round. I thought I would be able to do make things happen without a seed round, but I need to put a team together to be successful…and I need to be able to pay that team.
I feel better prepared to raise money, however; it’s a seriously tougher time to do it. Not only is it a tougher time to raise money…but evaluations for startups are down and thankfully I wasn’t thinking about a quick exit, because those are few nowadays and also much less profitable.
This is a good and shitty place to be. It’s a place where either things go to the next level or they come to an end. I rather it was the first and not the latter.
I don’t know how to describe this particular part of my entrepreneurial journey. What I know is that I have to continue to take steps forward…new steps based on things learned and walk in faith.
The next 6 months are going to be quite interesting. I have to walk in faith since I can’t even guess what twists and turns are in store. If I think about it…there’s just too much and I’ll drive myself crazy.
The plan is the rewrite the business plan in the next couple of weeks…keeping it simple, and straightforward. Once the plan is ready, I’ll leverage the contacts I’ve made the last couple of years to get it into the right hands and get prepared for the reactions.
Meanwhile, I’m going to keep things going with Yut Media, keep networking, blogging and exploring the web.
Stay tuned!! I’ll be reporting in what’s happening.
My Adventure in the Big Easy
Posted on January 12, 2009
Filed Under Life, New Orleans | Leave a Comment
I’ve been in the Big Easy for a week and so far, I absolutely love it! It’s actually my first time living in a city and New Orleans is a good city to be starting the city life in.
The highlight thus far is the amazing condo I found in the French Quarter. I decided when I took the orders to come here that I would most likely live in the French Quarter and wanted a place with a patio. When I walked into this condo, I knew I was home. It’s a one bedroom, 2 baths, fully furnished condo…like I mentioned, it’s got a patio, washer and dryer, and a huge Jacuzzi bathtub in the master bathroom. The bedroom is a loft type master bedroom up the stairs. It’s not like any place I’ve ever lived before, but exactly like a place I always want to live in. I’ll upload videos and pictures of the place once I get the internet connected.
I’ve never lived in a posh way…never lived in a; I’m single, beautiful, young, successful, sexy and on top of the world way. I want the rest of my life to be like this (except perhaps for the single part) so it’s high time to start living it. Being here affords me the opportunity to do that and honestly, if you’re going to spend six months in New Orleans…you got to make it worthwhile.
It hit me a few months ago how conservative my life has been. My ambitions, dreams and desires are filled with expensive, luxurious, eccentric, fast paced and good time type of feelings and essences, but I haven’t been living along those lines at all. I’ve been playing the when game…when this happens, when I have this, when, when, when is when I’ll do a, b, c and d. No more. The Now is When.
I moved in to my new place on Saturday. It was a warm sunny day. Once I was moved in, I sat on my patio to bask in the sun…people walked on by and we exchanged greetings. I’m going to learn how to make homemade lemonade so I can sit out with my laptop, a fresh glass to lemonade or ice tea and write the business plan that will make me millions.
Saturday evening, a few friends came over with wine, food, a king’s cake and house warming gifts. We ate, they expressed their envy for my wonderful pad and we enjoyed a wonderful evening.
The pitfall of my fabulous condo in the French Quarter is not having a designated parking space. I already earned myself a parking ticket on Sunday for being less than 4 ft from the intersection. I’m planning on getting a bike since I live only a couple of miles from where I work, and obviously being in the French Quarter, I’m in walking distance to anything I might need. The additional exercise will do me good since there is so much delicious food to be had in New Orleans.
Speaking of exercise…I did a workout at the New Orleans Athletic Club this past weekend. Talk about non-traditional. I’ve been in many gyms, but none like this one. I’m rather particular about my workouts and the gyms that I like. I have to admit I like large and modern gyms which NOAC is not. Well, alright, NOAC is large but it’s antique. It seems great for cardio – not so much for weight training. I have a few more visits on my visitor’s pass; I’ll check it out a few more times before I decide. Part of the journey of being here is to have new experiences; perhaps I can vary my gym experience as well.
Tomorrow my internet is getting turned on and I go back to work. Next blog post: “Getting Back Into My Entrepreneurial Endeavors”
The New Job in the Big Easy
Posted on January 9, 2009
Filed Under Uncategorized | Leave a Comment
Until I can close a seed round I have to maintain a day job. I thought when I left my last billet (job) that it would finally be it, but I came to realize a few things which required me to look into a steady paycheck option again.
When I started looking for another opportunity in the Marine Corps – the Marine Corps provides me ideal work, pay and benefits. For 6 months at a time, I get to juggle being a Marine Officer and entrepreneur. Anyway, when I was looking for a new opportunity, a very good friend sent me information about an opening at Marine Forces Reserve in New Orleans.
I applied for the position and got it! I checked-in to MarForRes 4 days ago and so far so good!! I am truly already enjoying and loving New Orleans. On the Marine Corps side of things…MarForRes is a weird animal, but from my point of view; it’s much better than Quantico. I’ve been running into Marines I know and meeting new ones.
I have my own office (no cubicle) and my job is that of a Task Order Manager. I’m here to provide oversight into a contract that involves all the contractors that Marine Forces Reserve hire. I’m here to bring order, standardization, ensure compliance and verify the government is getting what it should be getting.
It’s not in the social media alley, but I’ve already told the Public Affairs Office that I would offer them help with Blogger X. They were really happy to know my background so I look forward to working my magic there.
Currently I’m staying in the Navy barracks on the West Bank and working on the East Bank. This morning I took the Navy ran ferry across the Mississippi river. The sun was raising, the weather was gorgeous and I really appreciated the uniqueness of my commute.
I found an amazing condo in the French Quarter…unfortunately, I’m facing some issues right now with closing the lease, so I’ll wait till I know it’s mine to really talk about it.
I’m going to do some exploring this weekend and start looking into the New Orleans tech/startup scene. I’m also going to get back into blogging over at the Yut Media blog. I’m sure I’ll be able to find some fabulous entertainers to interview and talk social media with.
The Heart Break
Posted on January 9, 2009
Filed Under Life | 2 Comments
I haven’t written in a while although I have been tweeting sporadically. Turns out the Marine Corps has caught on to Twitter; I was able to tweet while I was at Quantico however, I’m unable to tweet via web from where I am now.
At any rate…I know a few people are wondering what’s been happening and how I ended up heart broken. You might recall my blog post 21 Days Till I Know – it was about a man I met and was extremely excited to see again. A man, I have to admit, I fell madly in love with.
I left DC on Tuesday, December 30th and due to a fatal accident that held me up in South Carolina, I didn’t arrive to my destination at my friend’s house until New Year’s Eve. It’s also when I found out that Aaron was held up in Iraq and he didn’t know when he would arrive to Florida. I still managed to keep my spirits high and enjoyed New Year’s Eve and New Year’s day with friends and family.
The wait was finally over on January 3rd. However, on Janaury 4th I left Daytona (where we met up) in tears to make my way to New Orleans.
The man I fell in love with, the man I was so excited to see and the man I wanted to have a future with is NOT the man that arrived in Daytona. Physically it was the same man, but emotionally, intellectually and in every other way, it wasn’t.
Most people will never experience or realize this but people who spend extended amount of time in Iraq (or Afghanistan or any other extremely high stress environment) aren’t always quite there when they come back. He was so distant, unemotional, preoccupied, quiet, and distracted that I felt out of place, awkward, unsettled and on edge almost the entire time. There was nothing I could say or do to change things.
I met my ex in Iraq and after we both left, he decided to go back. Every time we met up on his breaks he was more distant, short tempered, aggressive and a stranger. He wouldn’t leave Iraq so I left him.
I probably should have known better this time around to even get involved with someone in Iraq but I didn’t. However, I do know better this time than to stick around and keep wishing for something that might never be.
After I got out of the Marine Corps and hit some serious lows in my business ventures I was a mess emotionally and mentally. I was definitely not in a place where I could share myself with someone else and be in a relationship. I was in what I call “the pits of hell”…I think he’s there now and he’ll be there for who knows how long after he gets back to a stable environment. I know what he’s going through and I can’t add expectations on him.
Self awareness doesn’t completely ease the pain of what happened, but it certainly puts it into perspective and allows me to accept things for what they are. My heart desperately wanted it to turn out differently, but I’m too aware to fool myself.
I’m also too confident in who I am (with healthy self-esteem) to sell myself short and settle for a relationship that doesn’t offer me everything I am seeking and deserving.
I’m ready and aching for an equally loving, passionate, exciting and mutually supportive relationship. I’m ready to conquer the world with someone by my side and have lots of fun doing it. I want someone who will put me on a pedestal because that’s exactly where I will place him. I deserve to be loved, cherished, appreciated and a little worshipped 
Life offers us multiple opportunities to learn, break our patterns and move on to bigger and better things. I feel good that I have broken an old pattern of wanting to fix and rescue someone I can’t assist. I feel good I value my worth and faced reality, therefore, the pain, rather than fooled myself. Above all, I’m glad I fell in love. I’m grateful for the realization I am now ready to be in a healthy relationship without being afraid.
I didn’t hold back nor was I fearful of love for the first time in my life. I felt completely different about entering this relationship…I thought it was because of him, but I now realize it’s because I have changed. Yes, I got hurt, but you know what? It was worth it.
I got hurt because of what I fantasized, imagined and created in my mind and in my heart. I got crushed by the possibilities and expectations. I got burned by the gamble but I am proud that I went for it and put all of my chips in. I’m proud that I LIVED in the moment and I got some splendid moments out of it. He brought me tremendous happiness, albeit for only a short while.
I can’t and won’t regret embracing life and taking chances. I’m going to go with the flow and see what life has in store for me next when it comes to love. I’m in no rush…I am after all in a new city and living a new exciting part of my life!! More to come about my first week in New Orleans and the awesome condo I’ll be living in in the French Quarter.
Make the Hard Decisions: Don’t Let 20 Years Pass By
Posted on December 17, 2008
Filed Under Life | 2 Comments
I debated writing about this but since I can’t let it go – here comes.
Last Saturday I went to a Christmas party and ran into some people I knew and hadn’t seen in a while…I got to know one of those individual a little better.
Married for three years, divorced for 17 years but celebrating a 20th Anniversary in a few weeks with the same woman he married and divorced. A few times a year they get together to include a yearly vacation. He has been doing this for 20 years.
He loves and adores children…she doesn’t and never did. He spent 20 years torn between the woman he loves and his desires to have a big family. He settled on being a wonderful “uncle” and godfather to the children of his closest friends, while maintaining a scary version of a relationship with a woman who would never make him completely happy.
He was well intoxicated by the time he shared all of this information. Perhaps he remembers and perhaps he doesn’t remember what I had to say….and perhaps I was out of line butting in.
I told him he had two options – say his good-byes to the woman who would never fulfill him or say good-bye to his dreams of being a father. Right now he’s living an incomplete existence that’s patched and torn between the things his heart desires. There is no peace or contentment to be had this way.
He dreams of another woman walking into his life that he will love and who will want children. Yet, he keeps hanging on to another woman. Life does not work that way. You aren’t going to get what you want in order to feel secure about letting go of what you have. You must first let go of what you have, so what you want, has the room to enter your life.
MAKE THE HARD DECISIONS!
Life is a journey designed to make us grow, learn and evolve. Don’t live – be ALIVE. It will be painful, it will hurt, it will test you and it will be tough. It will also be amazing, wonderful, miraculous and enlightening.
The path is easy to find, although difficult to follow. The path starts with making the hard decisions that await you. You have to let go of what’s “comforting” but not fulfilling. You’ll feel bare, scared and in a place of unknowns however, overtime the things you really want will manifest.
Life will not fulfill your heart’s wishes without you taking some risks and chances. You keep hanging on to your security blankets and you’ll never, ever get what you desire the most. NEVER.
Moving Into a New Reality
Posted on December 16, 2008
Filed Under Life | Leave a Comment
I’ve been in the Northern Virgina/DC area now for what will be five years this upcoming February and that’s entirely too long for me to be in one place…particularly a place I never wanted to come to in the first place.
I’m extremely excited about my forth coming move to New Orleans – me, in the Big Easy!! I’ve been to New Orleans on TAD trips twice. Once before Katrina and the second time was this last summer. I don’t know much at all about New Orleans, but thinking about her conjures plenty of colorful thoughts. I find her to be a charming city with character, personality and magic.
New Orleans isn’t my destination though…I feel it in my bones and in my gut – she’s the doorway to where I’m going. She is one of my next teachers. She will teach me about life balance, fun, success and allow for love to prosper.
Being in DC has tested my perseverance, my will and my patience. DC has been a harsh and tough teacher. DC hardened me, she made me resentful, angry, and frustrated.
My faith and my beliefs have taken beatings after beatings however, I leave with my faith in all that I believe in at an all time high. I survived the hell I elected to live in.
We create our realities and we live in the reality we choose for ourselves. A long time ago I associated living in the DC area to misery, pain and struggling. Hence why it’s all I got. I never felt like I belonged here either. Our souls know; they know where they belong and can prosper and where they feel out of place.
Feel as I may about DC, I don’t harbor any regrets. Regrets serve no purpose and add zero value.
The part of the journey that was my five years here were for the good of the whole, for the good of what is unfolding as the story of my life.
I’m not entirely certain of all the things that await me in New Orleans, but I have a solid idea of what they are since I am the creator of my reality. I have been spending a good deal of time (through meditation, reflection, writing, and praying) into establishing what my new reality will be.
My New Reality
I am fully acknowledging who I am, which will not be lost in the sharing of who I am with someone; for in my new reality I’m no longer alone. My new reality starts out with a gorgeous, amazing and wonderful man in it. A man who loves and cherishes me – feelings and emotions I return in kind. I have finally learned to embrace love and to share my life with someone – I have realized having someone in my life isn’t a deterrent towards making my dreams happen, but rather an agent for making them happen.
I also embrace fun, joy, happiness and success. My success is built upon enjoying everyday and making sure I’m having fun. The work load that awaits me will be inspiring, motivating and energizing. I will be putting all the pieces of the puzzle together. Many doors of opportunity will open up; unveiling the things I’ve been asking for. I will not hesitate to step through them…I am worthy and deserving.
There are no coincidences…I am moving to the BIG EASY because I am ready for life and my success to be EASY. I’m phasing from paying my dues through hardship to collecting my prizes with ease!!
21 Days Till I Know
Posted on December 12, 2008
Filed Under Life | 3 Comments
I thought to myself “God, a man just like that – just like him.” I couldn’t keep my eyes off him…although I was already sweating from being on the elliptical machine, my body heat increased a few notches more. I was mesmerized by him…it wasn’t just the unbelievably muscular magnificence of his body but his demeanor and aura.
I had to remind myself to stop staring at him. I had to work hard to keep my cool. His presence was unraveling me. Done with cardio it was time to join him on the gym floor. My heart was racing. We exchanged glances. I discovered his gorgeous green eyes.
I just wanted to be near him. We passed by each other – he stopped, removed his earphones and initiated a conversation. The entire time I talked to him I was nervous and I can’t even remember if I made sense.
It had been years since a man had made me feel nervous. The short interchange yielded heart breaking information – he was leaving that night to go back to Iraq. “My life story” I thought to myself.
He left the gym before I did, but not before giving me his contact information. From March to April we emailed and talked on the phone…we felt emotions for each other we didn’t understand, feelings we couldn’t comprehend; then life happened.
Nor my or his life were simple at the time and as much as I wanted to let him into my life; I was keeping him at one arm’s distance. No calls, no emails one day…which went to two days and then three. The explanation that ensued did little to comfort me, but I understood. I was heart broken and confused on how a man I had almost no physical contact with could break my heart.
Time heals wounds but time is also a test of what is true and real. Seven months later, none of my emotions and feelings for him had changed. What had changed though, was me.
Thirty-one years of embarking on life’s journey alone with noone close to me to share my victories, struggles and pains. What is success if you don’t have anyone to share it with? I’ve spent so much time protecting and sheltering myself. I’ve had such strong beliefs that the only road to success is through extreme sacrifices. I’ve spent so much time being a fool.
In business I’m always putting everything on the line…it was time to do the same with my heart. I reached out to him by email…less than 12 hours later I was hearing his voice over the phone. We picked up where we had left off seven months ago.
In 21 days we get to look into each other’s eyes again. In 21 days we get to explore and find out what happened that day, 10 months ago, in the gym he was passing through for a quick workout.
Lessons: Immediate Use and Apply Later
Posted on November 2, 2008
Filed Under Lessons | 1 Comment
I sent out a tweet this morning that read: I learned some valuable and costly lessons yesterday about live streaming music. Also learned a few other things to stew on
SkinBintin replied: @AnnBernard – what were the valuable, and costly, lessons learnt?
I replied to SkinBintin after giving some thoughts on my preparedness to really speak about the lessons that I learned last night:
@SkinBintin Debating doing a blog post but I normally wait to share lessons till I’ve found a better implementation based on the lessons
@SkinBintin A lesson is worthless, unless it leads to a future success
To which PenguinSix replied @AnnBernard Read the Steve Jobs Stanford Speech (calligraphy/fonts). You never really know though when a lesson might lead to a success.
PenguinSix got me further thinking about lessons.
Fear of Repeats
I take lessons I learn in all aspects of my life extremely seriously because if there’s one thing I know, it’s this – Whatever you don’t learn is doomed to be repeated.
It’s one predictable thing about life. You either learn or you do a repeat. The repeat is normally more “severe”. Be it more costly (dollars and/or time), more painful and more drastic. That’s because if we don’t learn the first time; we need a larger dose and grandeur demonstration to teach us.
So what I do with each lesson I learn is take careful notes literally, mentally and figuratively to embed the lesson into my DNA.
Immediate Use Lessons
The easiest lessons to avoid repeating are the “Immediate Use Lessons.” The immediate use lessons are the obvious “Wow, I’m not going to do this again.” And the things that happen that leave you saying: “I really could have done this better” – “Not sure that was good, worth it or the best.”
“Immediate Use Lessons” require some thinking and stewing on them to find better options and solutions. Options and solutions that can be immediately applied if and when the situation arises again.
Apply Later Lessons
The real tough lessons are the “Apply Later Lessons.” That’s because those lessons are tied to, embed in and connect to default behaviors, natural tendencies, automatic reactions and well, the core of who you are.
“Apply Later Lessons” require learning new behaviors, actions and tendencies. They require a reprogramming of who you are to be effective (put into action). If you can’t make the change after the lesson is learn that will modify the cause (and effect) than you will act and be the same way – therefore, recreate the same outcome if the same situation arises again.
It’s important to spend serious time on the “Apply Later Lessons” so they are truly learned. Keep them fresh in your mind so that if a lot of time elapses (could be years) you can recall the lesson, the change you made, when put into a similar situation.
I personally thoroughly log and journal my “Apply Later Lessons” and talk through them with a good friend.
Yesterday’s lessons were a mix of “Immediate Use and Apply Later Lessons.” Since I haven’t journaled them yet – I’m going to go do that now.
I Live Life Every Day for the Living
Posted on October 30, 2008
Filed Under Life | Leave a Comment
Yesterday I watched the latest episode of House, “Lucky Thirteen.” The center theme of the episode was on the character played by Olivia Wilde, Number Thirteen, and how she has started to self-destruct due to her terminal illness.
As soon as I got done watching the show, I started to think about how I would live my life if I knew I was dying. I’m not dying, nor can I truly say exactly how I would react to such news. However, the thoughts provided for some interesting revelations.
The initial feeling that washed over me was relief. The relief was a result of knowing I wouldn’t have to live up to any of my expectations. I could let go of all my dreams, ambitions and goals since there is no way I can build the empire I dream of in 6 months to a year – so why bother. I would be free.
I have been relentlessly pursuing my ambitions, so I don’t have any regrets in the face of death that I haven’t followed my dreams or been afraid of going after the things I want. This means I am living my life with purpose and without excuses.
The only regret I felt was from the lack of time I have spent with my family and friends. This is the biggest sacrifice I make every day because of my dreams.
I decided that if I knew I was dying things would drastically change. I would make my priorities spending time with my family and friends, reading and writing. I would focus on what I’ve neglected; my family and friends and do what the activities I love the most; reading and writing. I have so many things I think about, wonder about, have learned, and want to say…I would want get it “out of me”.
After coming to my conclusion, the next question I asked myself was “well, why aren’t you doing that now?!?!”
The answer to that question is tied into my desire to accomplish big things. Ultimately what I want to accomplish with my life is build a legacy I am proud of – a legacy that will impact other people’s lives. I know it’s a lofty dream that requires my all and it’s what I have happily dedicated my life to do. I won’t stop going after my dreams as long as I believe I can attain them.
The biggest realization of this train of thought was that I live life every day for the living. I live life to create, build, and develop things. I live life therefore, I make choices and sacrifices. I live life because I want to learn and achieve. I live life to be uncomfortable, take risks, be afraid, and challenged. I live life to have more and be more than what I had and was yesterday.
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