21 Days Till I Know
Posted on December 12, 2008
Filed Under Life | 3 Comments
I thought to myself “God, a man just like that – just like him.” I couldn’t keep my eyes off him…although I was already sweating from being on the elliptical machine, my body heat increased a few notches more. I was mesmerized by him…it wasn’t just the unbelievably muscular magnificence of his body but his demeanor and aura.
I had to remind myself to stop staring at him. I had to work hard to keep my cool. His presence was unraveling me. Done with cardio it was time to join him on the gym floor. My heart was racing. We exchanged glances. I discovered his gorgeous green eyes.
I just wanted to be near him. We passed by each other – he stopped, removed his earphones and initiated a conversation. The entire time I talked to him I was nervous and I can’t even remember if I made sense.
It had been years since a man had made me feel nervous. The short interchange yielded heart breaking information – he was leaving that night to go back to Iraq. “My life story” I thought to myself.
He left the gym before I did, but not before giving me his contact information. From March to April we emailed and talked on the phone…we felt emotions for each other we didn’t understand, feelings we couldn’t comprehend; then life happened.
Nor my or his life were simple at the time and as much as I wanted to let him into my life; I was keeping him at one arm’s distance. No calls, no emails one day…which went to two days and then three. The explanation that ensued did little to comfort me, but I understood. I was heart broken and confused on how a man I had almost no physical contact with could break my heart.
Time heals wounds but time is also a test of what is true and real. Seven months later, none of my emotions and feelings for him had changed. What had changed though, was me.
Thirty-one years of embarking on life’s journey alone with noone close to me to share my victories, struggles and pains. What is success if you don’t have anyone to share it with? I’ve spent so much time protecting and sheltering myself. I’ve had such strong beliefs that the only road to success is through extreme sacrifices. I’ve spent so much time being a fool.
In business I’m always putting everything on the line…it was time to do the same with my heart. I reached out to him by email…less than 12 hours later I was hearing his voice over the phone. We picked up where we had left off seven months ago.
In 21 days we get to look into each other’s eyes again. In 21 days we get to explore and find out what happened that day, 10 months ago, in the gym he was passing through for a quick workout.
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3 Responses to “21 Days Till I Know”
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Wow! That’s such a great thing. I feel so happy for you and what’s about to happen. All I can say is “good luck!”
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